Well Christmas has come and gone. It’s a funny thing really, as the OriginalTM plan for coming over to Canada involved coming…about now actually! But a deepening hatred for my job and a realization that trying to find work in the heart of winter might not be the best idea ever led to us coming over in the summer instead. I think it was a good call, as I write this having fled inside from the -14 going on -25 (celcius) temperatures outside.
Obviously neither of us could go back to the UK for Christmas, due to money and job constraints. As it quickly became apparent that the family here had their families to go see, we realized that we were going to have to improvise. So Improvise we did.
With no functioning oven to speak of and Christmas facilities that would make a homeless shelter blush, it became apparent that if we wanted some sort of special Christmas meal that we would have to eat out. So In preparation for the day we bought a large pile of alcohol, a large pile of snacks and ‘acquired’ a large pile of films to watch to pass the day leading up to this fabled Christmas dinner.
We then promptly failed to actually really make use of any of this.
I don’t know what it was really. Maybe it was the slight depression of being thousands of miles from our Families. Maybe it was the general lethargy that often comes with a day off. Maybe it was because we’d both bought ourselves a fucktonne of cheap games in the Christmas sales on Good Old Games and Steam. I mean, who can really say? What I can say is that most of that alcohol survived the day, the snacks were slowly consumed over the Christmas Eve to Boxing Day period rather than binged on as it should have been and of all the films we’d downloaded we only got around to watching Gone in Sixty Seconds and The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. Now I don’t know about you, but neither of those films exactly scream of Christmas. What I’m trying to say here is that Christmas cheer was not our bloody Raison d’étre here.
So we had failed at merriment. We had failed at bingeing. We had failed at season-appropriate viewing. I was damned if we were going to fail at Christmas dinner. So we set off, full of desire to stuff our faces with seasonal food. There was just one teeny-tiny catch however. Most of Toronto’s restaurants, pubs etc do not actually open on Christmas Day. This came as a surprise to me, as back in the UK most do some sort of Christmas Day special and so I was totally unprepared for the miles and miles of street in which the only places open were the occasional Greengrocers or small bar.
Eventually we made it into the City center proper, where surely we would find something! This is the largest city in the country after all, home to something like a quarter of the entire population of Canada! Surely they wou-NOPE.
I hate Christmas.