And Now Back to our Scheduled Broadcast

Alright so the nerd thing last week was a bit much for some of you. Well, I’ve got news for you peeps. My parents got an Amiga Commodore 500 when I was about three years old or something, and I’ve been playing games ever since. Wrap that up with my mother brainwashing me with Star Trek as a child, and a gamut of nerdy friends who’ve introduced me to the world of comics, and I’m sorry to have to spell this out to you but I am a N.E.R.D.! So deals with it, yo.

I think this picture sums it up nicely.

I like to think I walk that fine path between Geek Squad Nerdery and actually having a fairly normal life though, what with the long list of jobs and relatively non-nerdy interests on the side. As such, I’m going to bring the blog back in line with it’s intended focus and try desperately to find something Canadian to talk about.

Well things still haven’t really livened up much. We set off to explore the northern side of the part of town we live in, and found to largely be a run down semi-squalid dive, so that was nice. The 1930’s art-deco architecture was a bizarre touch though. I’m guessing this must be an older part of Toronto to a lot of it or something, because I felt like I was walking onto the set of some sort of film noir thing.

Is she breathing fire? Or something? What is this I don't even

I also went to see Mozart’s Requiem played at Roy Thompson hall which was interesting. I’m not exactly known for my love of classical music, typically leaning more towards an eclectic range of metal/rock/indie/techno/dance/D&B. However I do occasionally have my moments and even if you’ve never intentionally listened to a piece of classical music in your life you will have at least heard some stuff from Requiem as it gets sampled in film and TV on a pretty regular basis, being one of the most famous pieces of classical music out there.

There’s also our increasingly desperate attempts to try and give ourselves some variety in our diet. Our kitchen here is pretty woeful, consisting of a cheap electric oven where only the hobs work (and not very well), a small microwave and the worlds least effective Toaster oven. This has had a pretty damned restricting effect on what we eat, as all the toaster oven is capable of doing is producing soggy chips after they’ve been put in there at full power for half an hour, so basically everything has to be fried/boiled/steamed. How the shit I’ve lost over three stone in weight with those options since I got here I can’t help but wonder.

I'll have three please!

We’ve tried a few different things to be sure, but almost every meal consists of one of the following:-

Stir Fry.





Now sure, you can create a fair bit of variety in there by changing up the sauces or whatever, but since we’re both trying to lose weight and Canada has a shitty range of food sauces compared to the UK (and those they do have contain about three times the fat content of a UK sauce) our options are pretty damned limited. So we’ve been branching out. Trying ‘other things’.


It looks like...y'know, I literally have no words for this.

Now to be fair I’ve had plenty of cooking cock-ups since we got here, but this one was Dan’s and he’s not been quick enough to photograph any of mine so sucks to be him I guess. Food experimentation is rife with potential disasters. I still can’t cook rice. RICE! A foodstuff that the world consumes around 500 million tonnes of a year! And still I can’t get it to be anything other than Crunchy or Soggy. And then you want me to add some variety by doing some wacko thing like egg fried rice? Get the fuck out of town! I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing! I follow instructions to the letter, only to get ‘slightly pan-seared fish mind the frozen bit in the middle’. Dan is far more experimental than me, and he is largely more successful than me. But then he spends about two hours meticulously planning and preparing every meal, and fuck.dat frankly.

Why take your time when there are such classy options available in a fraction of the time?

It is more satisfying to be preparing almost all my meals from scratch though. When I think back to my time at Uni, or any time since really, I begin to realize more and more how the hell I managed to get to Twenty-One stone through all the crappy pre-made meals and takeouts I kept getting. Yeah that’s right. I’m gonna toss that one out there for the public to know, now that I can be all smug in my vastly improved physical state. Before I came here, I was 21 stone, or just shy of it anyway.



...and After.

That first picture was taken literally just a few days before I flew out to Canada.

Now I’m still not a slim man by any means, I still have a long way to go. At the time of writing I’m at 17 stone 10 pounds atm, but it’s still going down. I feel pretty good about that though, oddly enough. I was never light – even when I was a skinny bastard I still weighed around 15 stone or so. And yes, once upon a time, I was a skinny bastard. Look I even have evidence!

Though I never let family bonds get in the way of me and my PS2.

Alright, that’s enough photo’s of me now. Though it’s a funny thing, the less fat I get the less bothered I am about having my picture taken. Can’t imagine why. Some guy in the store today said he thought I looked a bit like Hugh Grant, but alas I think my accent must have dazzled him into submission because there’s no way in hell I’m quite there just yet.

Anywho, other than that there’s nothing more to report really. New Zealand might be happening after all. Or it might not. I basically give up trying to predict this shit now, because I literally have no idea. But it seems like it could be happening, although we’ll be going to Wellington rather than Auckland if we do because why not. Oh and we’ll be spending around three days on a coach beforehand.



2 thoughts on “And Now Back to our Scheduled Broadcast

    • Ah yes, I forgot that you and your parents would on a yearly basis drive all the way to Croatia and back. THough I assume you would at least stop on the way? This will be three days solid on the road. I’m not sure even you would look forward to that!

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